How Can I  Ease the Pain
by LivinWasteland
Summary: Dean gets married,Castiel gets heart broken,Sam helps him ease the pain, for a while. Then after one night together ...things get a little crazy and you'll just have to read then won't you :  Reviews please :  my first story YAY!
1. Chapter 1

How can I ease the pain?

The music started and the double doors of the church opened wide revealing the couples lined up in the door way. Castiel stood in the back watching the procession, it was a glorious occasion, a happy occasion, and yet Castiel felt sadden by it all; the deep alto of the women's voice, the violins and piano playing in complete and perfect unison. It didn't seem real.

…_.Pride can stand a thousand trials; the strong will never fall…._

He watched as the first couple walked in, seeing them smile with tears of happiness in their eyes,

…_.But watching stars, without you…. My soul cried….._

He watched couple after couple walk in, watching them as they parted ways at the altar, it was there he caught Dean's eyes. Dean smiled at him, winked and gave him a small thumb up. Only thing Castiel could manage was a half smile. ….._Heaving heart is full of pain…. _Hearing that line in the song Castiel turned his gaze towards Sam. Sam could only stare back his eyes saw more than what was currently displayed on Castiel's emotionless face. He could tell without asking that the angel was in love with his brother, and had been for a while…_.oh, oh, the aching…. _Sam mustered up a smile and turned back towards Dean, and mouthed congratulations to his brother.

…_..Cause I'm kissing you…. _The angel continued to look at Sam as if trying to command him to stop the wedding and help him express his feelings towards his older brother, the whole congregation stood up and turned towards the doors of the church as the bride walked in, she was so happy, it felt as if happiness radiated off her in waves as she passed each pew. Castiel could no longer take it he sat down and buried his face in his hands, willing tears to come, wanting them to come. He knew they wouldn't but he knew of no other way to let out his sadness and anger.

…_..Touch me deep…..pure and true….give me to me forever…._ On that last word the bride had made it to the altar, the music had faded into the back ground and there she was standing in front of Dean and the preacher, hand in hand. Castiel watched them say their vows and he waited, he watched them say some of their own vows as well and he waited, he waited for the question he knew was about to come. Then it came,

"Is there anyone in this church, who believes that these two should not be wed in Holy Matrimony? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Sam looked at Castiel and he knew that this is what he was waiting for. The angel got to his feet slowly and stepped out into the rose cover aisle, he looked at each and every persons face as he walked towards Dean and his bride-to-be. He met everyone's eyes with the same emotionless expression he wore every day, he could hear their thoughts of wondering what he was doing or who he was. Castiel finally stood in front of the happy couple, he put his hand of both of theirs, and he looked at Dean and his smiling face glowing with love for this woman, and the sadness was becoming too much to hold in. He stared at the bride, looking deep within her eyes trying to see what it was that Dean loved so much about her.

"Cas," Dean said, "What are you doing?"

Castiel looked at Dean, then Sam, and Sam saw it clear as day, the pain in the angels eyes, the hurt; but the only thing he did was shake his head no ,telling the angel not to ruin this day for his brother, for his bride, for him because he so desperately wanted to see his brother happy, for once.

Castiel dropped his gaze and breathed in deep, looked at Dean and his bride and said,

"I wish you nothing but happiness, for as long as you both shall live."

Dean stared for a moment and his smile faltered for a minute then he told him thanks. Sam let out a sigh of relief and watched as Castiel strolled out the church, with his head lowered, and Sam was sure if the angel could cry, that's exactly what he would be doing.

Castiel walked slow enough to hear 'you may now kiss the bride' and the clapping the followed before he completely walked out of the church.

**Later on that night….**

Castiel stood outside the apartment they shared watched them as they got packed and ready to go on their two week honeymoon, and for once he wished a demon would pop up, just to slow their departure. Dean came to the window to close the blinds and he saw Castiel standing there, and Castiel just turned his back. He left and walked with no destination in mind; his eyes were glued to the ground as he rounded corners and crossed streets. He finally came to a stop and breaking the trance that he had been in since he had left Dean's apartment and looked up he was at a motel in front of room 210. Despite knowing who was already in there, he knocked instead of just popping like he normally did. He quickly lowered his eyes when the door swung open revealing the youngest Winchester.

"Cas? Why didn't you just come in?" Sam asked trying to study Castiel's body language since he couldn't see his face.

"I don't…I don't know." He replied as he narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Well come on in, don't just stand there." Sam watched as the angel shuffled his way into the room, watching him look around. Sam saw how Castiel's body or his vessel's body tense up when it saw Dean's favorite gun lying on the table.

"So Cas-"

"I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using that name." Castiel said still staring at the gun.

"Okay," Sam said making his way to the table that the gun was on picking it up and tossing it to the floor on the other side of the bed, "what'd you come here for?"

"I don't know, I'd just been walking and found myself here." He said sitting down on the bed and looked frozen in that position.

Sam stared for a while, before the angel turned his way and he coughed and looked down, then Castiel spoke,

"You knew didn't you?" he looked hard at Sam as if trying to see through him.

Sam bit his lip and sighed aloud, "Yea." Refusing to look Castiel in the eyes.

"You knew and you did nothing?" said Castiel getting and walking up to Sam staring him in the eyes.

"It wasn't my call to make, I'm not the one in love with him." He said backing away as Castiel continued to walk forward.

"You could've prevented this…this pain that I feel right now. Yet, you do nothing. I've helped both of you on numerous occasions." Castiel said pinning Sam to the wall and inching closer to his face.

"Cas-_tiel_, it's not the end of the world, he's not dead you can still see him." He said as he tried to push the angel away, finding that he wasn't easy to move.

Castiel looked down at Sam's hands on his chest and notice the small distance between his face and Sam's. He remembered what Dean had told him about personal space.

"I'm sorry." He said backing away from Sam feeling ashamed but unable to express it. His vessel's body began to shake again and Castiel fell to his knees. He felt angry, enraged, heartbroken, but had no means of expressing it other than words. He looked up at the water damaged ceiling of the motel room and closed his eyes. He prayed to God, to take away this pain. To remove it from him completely, but he got the same answer he always got lately: nothing.

Sam got down on his knees with Castiel and put his hand on his shoulder and shook him till he opened his eyes, "That bad huh?" he said looking into his pain stricken eyes.

"Sam, you've dealt with this type of feeling before, how do you get rid of it?"asked Castiel looking more desperate by the minute.

Sam took his hand off his shoulder and told him simply, "You never do, you just get used to it being there, and it becoming a part of you."

He stood back up and held out his hand to Castiel who looked at it curiously, then grabbed it and let Sam help him to his feet.

For the second time that night, they were face to face, only centimeters between their faces.

Castiel put his head down and said almost inaudibly "How can I ease the pain?"

Sam reached out with his other hand and put it to Castiel's face, and kissed him.

"Like this," and he removed Castiel's trench coat, then his jacket and while kissing his neck unbuttoned his shirt, then his took off his own t-shirt. He put one hand on the angels face and pulled him to the bed and deeper into the kiss. Castiel's heart raced with pleasure as Sam began to undo his belt and climbed on top of him, the lights began to flicker as Castiel got lost in Sam…..


	2. Chapter 2

After their first time together all the lights in the motel and within a two mile radius had blown and were now broken glass in the street. The bed in the room had been destroyed and all that remain was the tattered mattress and a few scraps of the bed sheets, the frame was reduced to nothing but woodchips. Now Castiel was lying against Sam's chest still covered in sweat and listening to him breathe. The phone on the nightstand rang and Sam blindly grabbed for it,

"Hello," he answered in a groggy semi-whisper.

Castiel could hear Dean on the other end.

"Did your lights just go out?"

Sam smiled when he saw all the light bulbs lying on the floor all shattered and replied, "Yea they did."

Castiel tuned the rest of the conversation out, got out the bed and began to put on his clothes.

"It's probably nothing but a power failure." Sam watched Castiel put on his clothes and smiled at the thought of how they made love.

"Dean, shouldn't you be leaving soon….yea…alright…see ya when you get back….jerk." he put the phone back on the nightstand.

"Going so soon?" Sam said turning on his side to get a better look at Castiel as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Castiel turned around and looked at him puzzling way and said "We're through here right?"

'_Damn'_ thought Sam '_way to hit it and quit it Cas, way to go.' _

"I heard that." Castiel said as he bent down to tie his shoe.

Sam just laughed as he got up out the bed and tied the sheet around his waist.

He headed toward the bathroom and Castiel walked towards the door, they crossed each other and Sam grabbed Castiel by the hair and before he knew the angel punched him in the mouth. Sam let go of his hair and touched his hand to mouth, "What the hell Cas?" Then after a minute he looked at Castiel with a smirk on his face."Oh I get it you like it rough." He laughed then grabbed Castiel by his coat and threw him against the wall and kissed him. Castiel pushed him hard and Sam hit the wall adjacent and slumped down to the floor, "I guess you like it a little too rough." Sam said before he lost consciousness.

Castiel looked at him with his head cocked to the side.

"Sam?" He walked over to him and slapped his cheek, but that didn't nothing but make him hit the floor completely.

Then Castiel turned towards the door of the room and saw the lights of a car stop right in front of the room. He already knew who it was he just didn't know what to do with Sam's body until he regain his conscious, he had only mere seconds to decide. So he picked up Sam and put him the shower, turned the water on and locked the door on his way out. No sooner had he closed the door, a knock came.

"Sammy! I know you're in there!" Dean was now pounding on the door. "Don't make me kick this door in."

Castiel opened the door, "He's in the shower" he said, then slammed the door in Dean's face.

"What the hell Cas! Open the damn door!" shouted Dean kicking at the door.

"Your brother told me let no one in." Castiel said calmly to the enraged and still locked out Dean,

_You just lied, he thought to himself,that's a sin._

"CASTIEL IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR I WILL SHOOT MY WAY THROUGH!" Dean shouted and Castiel heard the gun cock, but he paid it no mind…._ You just lied, that's a sin…_

Dean shot at the door, "OPEN", he shot again and the bullet went through the door and into Castiel chest, "THE", Castiel heard Dean sharp intake of breath and then swung the door open, Dean shot and the bullet went into Castiel's shoulder, looked at the open wound then back at Dean.

"Satisfied?" he said to Dean while he pulled the bullet out of his shoulder and chest.

"Completely," replied Dean shoving his way past Cas, "now where's my brother."

"He's in the shower as I said before." Cas stated while picking up the shells outside and closing the door.

Dean looked around the room then his eyes came to rest upon the destroyed bed and he raised an eyebrow, "What the hell happened here?"

"Termites." Sam came out the bathroom, and saw Castiel's eyes close his eyes and mutter something.

"Termites? Really? Wow, and how much are you paying for this room again?" he laughed at Sam as he put his gun away.

" Anyway I came to say to goodbye—"

"Which we already did on the phone." Sam said picking up his clothes up off the floor.

"Dude, Can you put some clothes! Anyway.. I want you to watch the apartment for me while i'm gone, I've already salted everything but I didn't get time to draw the symbols on the floor."

"Okay consider it done."

Dean looked at the bed and shook his head and let a small laugh, "Termites…"

"Oh and Cas sorry I shot —" Dean turned around but the angel was gone. "Weirdo."

"Well I'm leaving. Take care Sammy." He went and hugged his brother, "You stink like sex."

Sam eyes went wide and his heart beat increased a little, "What?"

"Kidding. Bye."

Sam watched his brother walk out the door and then began to put his clothes on.

**In Dean's car, on the way to the airport.**

"I can't believe we're going to damn Paris, I mean why? Why Paris of all places?" Dean said talking his wife of 9 hours 30 minutes and 23 seconds.

"I always wanted to go, it seems so pretty in all the pictures." She said leaning against the window, stretching her legs out and putting them on the dashboard. Dean looked at her out the corner of his eye as she put her legs up, had that been Sam he would've punched him, but he just smiled. Then turning his attention back to road he began to switch lanes, his mind began to wander. He thought about what his brother might be doing, and why all the lights had suddenly gone out.

'_No I just got married, there's no way in hell I'm about to think about demons or hunting and Sammy's a grown man he can take of himself'_ he thought getting angry at himself. '_Of course he can take of himself, just like the way he took care of himself and got stabbed in the back and I had to sell my soul to bring him back, just like the way he got addicted to demon blood, just like the way-' _Dean turned the radio on to the listen to The Rolling Stones, cutting off all his thoughts. He sped up and passed two cars on his left in the other lane, then weaved his way through traffic to get ahead of the car in front of him. Finally slowing down a little he directed his gaze to the review mirror, and saw Castiel sitting in the back , and he almost ran in the guard rails, his wife sat up quickly and looked at Dean, "Are you alright? You need me to drive?"

"No," he cleared his throat, "no you go ahead and rest."

She then turned back toward the window and then looked in the side mirror and screamed.

Castiel put his hand over her mouth and put his pointer and index finger her head, and Dean watched her slump into the seat.

"What the hell Cas!" Deans said shouting at the angel, "We could've died."

Castiel just sat there in the back seat and stared at Dean as he shouted and screamed at him.

"Are you listening to me? Hello Earth to Angel, do you copy?"

Even though it seemed as though Sam was a better choice for him, he still wanted Dean, he wanted Dean to feel the same way he did, he wanted to Dean to feel the same way Sam felt, mentally and physically.

"Stop the car." Castiel said in a commanding and emotionless voice. Dean glanced back at him in the review and Castiel stared back, "Now."

As much as Dean didn't want to, he felt it would fare better for him if he did. Something was up with Cas and he didn't like it.

He drove till they came to a tunnel where traffic was near nonexistent, "So what do you want?" said Dean who turned around and found that he was talking to the backseat.

He quickly turned back around to find Castiel standing beside his window.

"Get out." Cas said yanking the door off its hinges

"What the hell! Have you lost your freaking mind? You just tore my damn door off?"

Dean went and picked up the door and started whispering to it, " Daddy's gonna fix you up, sshhh, it's okay."

Castiel raised an eyebrow and stared at Dean for a minute, then he grabbed him by the collar of his coat, raising him off the ground and simply said, "What is it?"

"What is what Cas? Dean said kicking his legs in the air, "And put me down!"

Castiel threw Dean into the tunnel wall, "What did she have,"and he pointed to the woman still slumped over in the car, " that I didn't!"

He picked Dean up again and threw him into the windshield of the the car. Dean tried to pick himself up off the hood of the car, but Castiel came at him again, and pinned him down by the throat then leaned in close and said, "Why don't you love me?"

He tried to kiss him but Dean put up his hands and pushed Castiel's face back , but Castiel squeezed his throat harder, Dean began to flail and kick .

He squeezed until Dean's arms no longer tried to push him away, he squeezed until Dean he no longer kicked. Castiel stepped back eyes wide with disbelief, as Dean's body slid off the roof of the car. He walked to the passenger side of the car, out his hand to the woman's head and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**IDK I'M TRYING : )**

The woman sat up immediately and looked around; she had no idea where she was or where her husband was. She had no clue as to how her door had been open, how the door on Dean's side had been ripped off or what happened after she saw one of Dean's friends sitting in the backseat.

"Dean?" She called, "Where are you hon-?" she heard a cough, "Dean is that you?" there was another cough and she thought she heard someone move.

"Dean?" she leaned forward towards the cracked windshield and watched in fear as Dean got up, he was covered in blood and clutching to his side. He looked at her and tried to walk over to her, but as soon as he stepped he fell against the hood of the car.

She rushed to his side and tried to help him up to the passenger side of the car. He was a heavy man compared to her and his limping wasn't helping get him to car any faster. When he was finally settled into the seat, she cupped his face with her hands, "What do you want me to do? Dean… honey…, what can I do?"

He looked at her through swollen eyes and said, "Call Sam."

"Sam? What can he do, shouldn't we call an ambulance?" she asked frantically.

Dean put his hand on her shoulder, "Please, call Sam, then you can call who ever you want, just call my brother first."

"And tell him what?" she gripped the hand on her shoulder, "Huh? Tell him what?"

Dean just looked at her, then he heard glass break and he looked in the rearview mirror and he saw the lights that lined the street were breaking one by one until the one closest to the entrance of the was the only one left.

"Go!" Dean pushed his wife away . "Run and call Sam!"

"Dean I'm not leaving you here you can forget that!" she told him while she stood up, grabbed his hand, and turned towards the entrance.

"What's out there?" she asked Dean, then she called out, "Hello?"

Dean yanked on her arm, "Baby please just go," he pleaded with her, " go before he gets here, go before—" Dean stopped and began to shake his head, the woman turned around and stared in shock, "Don't you touch her Cas, don't you lay a finger on her or—"

"Or what?" Castiel said while Dean stared at him with hate in his eyes, "you'll kill me?"

"Go to hell." Dean said through clenched teeth.

"Gladly. Will you be joining me?" Castiel said smiling at him.

"Get the hell away from us!" the woman said punching Castiel in the face.

"Oh, now I remembered why I came back." He grabbed her by the throat and brought her to her knees, "You see being with you Winchesters for so long, I've come to find out that physical pain doesn't last." He looked Dean up and down. "No, it's the emotional pain that does you in…so you know what I've decided to do…I've decide to rip out your heart. You know, get rid of what you love the most." He put his other hand through her hair. As Castiel continued to talk Dean got his phone from the cup holder, and pressed 1; speed dial for Sam.

**Back the hotel with Sam**

The phone was ringing but Sam couldn't find it he'd check the bathroom, the area that use to be a bed, even the trash can, but it just couldn't be found. He'd turned his bag inside out and remembered where he'd put it to.

'_Silly me'_ he thought he when he went to the nightstand and picked up the phone which had just ringing. He flipped it opened saw that it was Dean who had called him. He pressed call and held the phone to his ear with his shoulder while he carelessly tossed his stuff back in his bag,

"You've reached-" the voicemail began and Sam hung the phone up. He put his phone in his coat pocket and went to table on the other side of room to get his laptop, when he got and made his way to the bed his phone rang again,

"Hey De—" Sam started

"You see, it was simple Dean. All I wanted was you, plain and simple, but I'd forgotten plain and simple wasn't part of the Winchester lifestyle."

'_What the hell?' _ Sam thought as he listened in, '_I know that voice.'_

"You can have me, 'kay. Just don't hurt her please." He heard his brother beg.

"You had your chance, you had multiple chances, you had more than I like to give."

"Let me go you bastard!" he heard the woman shout.

'_Castiel has lost his damn mind.'_

"Dean if you can hear me, tell me where you are give me a clue, something tell me where you are." He said half whispering half shouting into the phone.

The door of the motel room swung open bringing in leaves and blowing the debris from the frame of the bed around the room, Sam turned and saw Castiel walked through,

"That's not me."


	4. Chapter 4

"You see, it was simple Dean. All I wanted was you, plain and simple, but I'd forgotten plain and simple wasn't part of the Winchester lifestyle." Castiel said gripping the woman's neck even tighter making her gag.

"You can have me, 'kay. Just don't hurt her _please_." Dean begged while he watched with tear distorted vision. Dean wanted it all to go away, he closed his eyes to squeeze out the tears that just wouldn't fall and to hopefully close out the pain in his wife's eyes as she struggled for a breath.

Castiel turned his head towards Dean and gave him a mock look of sympathy then said, "You had your chance, you had multiple chances, you had more than I like to give." He released the woman's neck and grabbed her hair instead and he yanked her to her feet.

She screamed and clawed at his hand, "Let me go you bastard!"

"….me where you are." Dean heard Sam's voice on the phone, he lifted the phone to his ear and tried to talk but the sadness of being useless in this situation rendered him speechless. He could only mumbled an inaudible help into the phone before Castiel saw him and held out his hand causing the phone still up to Dean's ear to shatter into tiny pieces, cutting the side of his face.

"Calling little Sammy no doubt. Too bad that won't work this time." Castiel said touching the woman's lips, neck, then moving down and putting his hand on her breast.

Dean looked away and said in a low voice, "He'll be here."

"No he won't, you see, Sammy and I spent a little _quality time_ together not too long ago. And as far as he's concerned, I'm all torn up over you."

"What do you mean quality time? What did you do to my brother?" Dean turned and said with anger growing in his voice.

"I did nothing he didn't want me to." Castiel said and winked at Dean, then started to unbutton his wife's shirt. " I was so hurt that you'd gotten married, and that you never knew how much I loved you."

He yanked the shirt off and threw it playfully on Dean. " I didn't know what to do, so I went to Sammy dearest for some comfort."

"Get your hands off her!" Dean shouted and raised himself up out of the seat long enough to land a punch in Castiel's mouth. Castiel let go of the woman's hair and grabbed Dean's wrist.

"RUN!" Dean shouted and she took off running towards the entrance of the tunnel. Dean watched her until he could no longer see her, Castiel looked on too.

"Don't worry, I'll get her after I'm through with you." Castiel turned Dean's wrist until he heard a snap, then two more after that. Dean screamed as the pain shot up his arm and Castiel continued to twist his arm. The more he screamed the more Castiel pulled and twisted his arm, and not too long after Dean's brain couldn't take the enormous amount of pain coming in at once and it shut down, causing Dean's body to go limp. Castiel twisted his arm one last time and watched his body jerk, before he dropped his arm and began to walk in the direction that the woman had ran, while the sun began to rise.

**Hotel**

"What do you mean that's not you!" Sam shouted at the Castiel standing in the doorway. He put his phone back to his ear and heard nothing but static, while the angelic being he thought was Castiel closed the door. He threw the phone to the floor and no sooner had the lock on the door clicked he had Castiel pinned to it.

"It's not me I can assure you." Castiel said looking into Sam's worry laden eyes.

"How do I know that? You could be a shape shifter for all I know." Sam said tightening his grip on the angel's coat.

" Sam, I'm no demon, I am an angel of the Lord." Castiel said returning the same icy glare he was being given by Sam.

Sam let him go and stepped back, "Christo" he said while he watch the angel stare at him with his back still on the wall. Then Sam rushed back at him and pressed his lips to his. Castiel stood there rigid as a board, with his mind going haywire.

He pushed Sam back, "What are you trying to do?" he said wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

"So… you don't remember what we did…" he looked at his watch, "last night?"

Castiel stared at him more while he read his mind and when he saw what he was trying to ask the angels eyes widen. "So it wasn't you?" Sam continued turning red and laughing nervously.

Castiel cleared his throat, "No. I'm sorry but that wasn't me."

Sam's mouth formed an 'O' and he looked at Castiel and said "Sorry about the…you know… just then…" he cleared his throat.

"Wait so you're not in love with Dean?"

"I can't feel." Castiel replied in a monotone.

"Right… so then I guess that wasn't you at the wedding?"

"No it wasn't."

"Then who the hell was it?" Sam asked remembering the initial problem at hand, "And where and what's happening to my brother?"

"I don't know who it is, but I know where he is and I can take you to him." Castiel said opening the door again.

Sam grabbed his stuff and went out the door behind Castiel, "Wait, I don't have a car." Castiel turned and looked at Sam, and then at the sky as if someone was talking to him.

Then he stretched out his hand, "It seems as if you'll be traveling the way we angels do."

**The open road**

She ran with tears in her eyes thinking of how she'd left Dean behind, she cried even harder as she heard his faint scream behind her. She cried but she kept running, she didn't plan on stopping, not until she completely passed out from exhaustion. She ran while the cool air stung her lungs as she took deep breaths. The woman was beginning to come around a corner and she slowed a bit, but didn't completely stop.

'_How could I have left him? He was- is my husband, and I vowed only a day ago till death do us part. But what is he's already dead?" _She shook her head and sped up a little. _'He's not dead, I would be able to sense it, I would be able to feel." _ She reassured herself, and put her head down and began to run at full speed.

Once she come around the corner, she felt the breath knocked out of her.

"Thought you had escaped, didn't you?" Castiel looked down on her and smiled.

"Miss me?" he got down on top of her and pulled at her bra straps, snapping them off, then snatching the bra off leaving her exposed to the cold air.

"GET OFF ME!" she screamed. "HELP ME! SOMEBODY!"

"Help me somebody." He mocked, and pinned her arms to the road, "There's no one here to save you now, no Dean around to rescue you again." He leaned down and whispered in her ear "…no….one"

She screamed and kicked and screamed until her screams came out as raspy sobs and he just sat there pinning her down and watching her slowly give up.

"Tired?" he asked and put his lips to her neck.

She didn't respond she just closed her eyes.

Castiel pulled the sash from his trench coat and tied it around her hands.

He touched her face, tracing her features, he touched her chest, then moved to her stomach his hand came to a rest at her navel.

"This may hurt a little." He said as all the nails on his hand grew, and he jabbed his hand into her stomach and he cut. He cut out her intestines, he worked his way back up and broke her rib cage, he ripped out her heart and watched as she choked on her own blood. He leaned forward on her once more and kiss her blood stained lips, "Mmm…sweet like honey." He looked at the heart in his hands, licked it and threw it off to the side. He got off her and looked down at her once more before he disappeared into thin air.


	5. Chapter 5

Muffled sounds, flashing lights, Sam's face and incoherent screams were the only things Dean's mind could process, while he was being laid out on the stretcher he tried to ask where his wife was, unaware that his mouth wasn't moving. He struggled to get up, but every time he tried to push himself off the stretcher the pain seared to through his arm. He tried to grab Sam's hand, but his drifts in and out of consciousness had him disoriented and he found himself more than once grabbing at thin air. When the ambulance finally began to move and the EMTs shined lights in his eyes, he saw her face. He began to cry, he screamed out her name and when she faded away he screamed for her to come back, it was useless and he knew it. He knew she was gone. The lights on the inside of the ambulance began to dim and he cried out to her to come back, that he could protect her no matter what, then before it all went completely dark he whispered "Sammy _help_ me."

**Sam**

"Sammy _help_ me." He held Dean's hand watched his head come to rest on the stretcher facing him, Sam watched as the paramedic put her fingers to his neck and watched as if in slow motion all the attempts they were making to resuscitate him. He watched them pound on his chest and each hit was like a blow to his heart. He watched when they put shock pads to his chest and watched his brother's body jerk upwards. He ran his hands through his hair and let the tears fall, they were too heavy to hold back. He looked at the stony faced EMTs as they offered him meaningless words of comfort, telling him it would be alright, he looked at the door of the ambulance and wished he could just jump out and escape. Too many times he's seen his brother like this, he was tired of it, tired of the hospitals, stitches, bandages and near death experiences. He was tired of hunting and being hunted. He wanted to be happy he wanted his brother to be happy. He just wanted to be left alone, he wanted the world of demons and ghosts to leave them alone.

The paramedics were loading Dean off, they'd gotten him breathing but were preparing for another relapse. They carted his off into the hospital and down to the emergency room, leaving Sam outside.

He broke down right outside the doors, he screamed in agony, in torment, in exhaustion. He cried tears in anger as he walked in circles body shaking while he pulled at his hair and mentally beat himself up.

"Sam, it wasn't you're fault you didn't know." Castiel said appearing in front of him.

"Yea it was! It was something I could've prevented from happening." Sam punched one of the concrete pillars.

"What happened, _happened._" Castiel said grabbing his arm, stopping Sam from punching the pillar again, "you were as unaware as I was. There was nothing we could've done."

Sam hugged Castiel and cried into his shoulder, "He's the only family I've got Cas and if he dies then I'll have nothing. I'll be alone. I'd rather be dead than be alone."

Castiel nervously patted his Sam's back, "Though I cannot comprehend the emotions you're feeling right now. I know you'll prevail, both of you. You were destined to."

Sam pulled out of the hug and stared at Cas, "Destined? Destined, I'm tired of being _destined _for something. It's like I have no choice, I _don't _have a choice. Even you of all people, beings should know what that's like." He threw his arms up in the air, "it's like my free will was thrown away the minute I came into this world." He brought his arms back down to his sides, turned his back to Castiel and sighed.

"I wish I could be like you" He said wiping the remnants of tears from his face "I wish I couldn't feel a thing."

"Being able to feel, is the best part of being alive. The best part of living," Cas said walking up Sam, " it's what separates you from the demons , it's what makes humans one of God's greatest creations."

"Well I didn't ask to be created." Sam said then walked off into the hospital, leaving Castiel outside to only try and imagine what he felt.

Sam walked passed about a dozen rooms before he stopped one of the paramedics he recognized from the ambulance, "Where did they take him?"

"They took him to surgery to try and pop some of those bones back in place, after that he'll probably be in the ICU. I don't know which room he'll be in though sorry." She said.

"Well can you point me in the direction of the ICU?"

"Sure." And she gave him the directions and told him not to worry and that his brother was strong.

'_That's his façade.' _he thought as he thanked her and walked on.

**Hours later in Dean's room**

Sam sat in the chair beside Dean's bed and stared at him, the sound of the heart monitor's beep held him in a trance. He was calm, but developing rage was starting to cloud his mind.

"Sir?" a nurse had knocked on the open door, "Can I get you to come down to the morgue with me, to…um….identify the body? It'll only take a minute." The nurse asked.

"Yea" Sam said drily as he got up, never taking his eyes off Dean.

The nurse placed a soft hand on Sam's back while she walked with him down the hall, and to the elevators,

"I'm really sorry that you have to do this sir, but your brother is well, out of commission at the moment." She said as she pressed the down arrow.

"S'okay." Sam said watching the numbers lights above the elevators, trying to keep from forming tears in his eyes.

The elevator doors open and they both got in, the nurse pressed six and leaned against one of the bars in the elevators. Sam looked at his reflection in the steel doors of the elevator as they closed. He was a mess, his eyes we blood shot, his hair was disheveled and his clothes were wrinkled.

The elevator stopped and he and the nurse stepped out into an array of bodies lying displayed out, and numerous people standing over them crying. Some people were shouted at the doctors, and some were just shouting in disbelief. Sam looked at the nurse and she looked back,

"These kinds of thing happen often?" Sam asked with genuine curiosity.

"Just tonight, they just keep coming in." the nurse said putting her head down as she walked through the grieving crowd.

"And this doesn't scare you?" Sam asked watching the woman out of the corner of his eye as he walked beside her.

"It scares the hell out of me, my shift ended hours ago, but I'm too afraid to leave the hospital." She stopped in front a cover body and checked the toe tag, said a prayer over it, then moved on.

Sam stopped and looked at the tag too, '_Shay Jones. DOB: 05/12/08. C.O.D: unknown. She was two…'_

Sam dropped the tag and caught up with the nurse, who stood beside a table, head down and hands clutching to the cross that hung around her neck.

"Sir, do you recognize this body?" she pulled back the sheet, and Sam looked down at the body. He had a sharp intake of breathe before he turned away and told the nurse to cover her back up.

"Is this her? Sir?" the nurse pressed as she covered her back up.

"It's her." Sam said and he pushed his way back through the crowd to the doors of the elevator.

Once inside he stared vacantly at the floor till he heard the ding telling him he was back in his floor.

He walked quickly back to Dean's room, and stood outside the door, hesitating to open it.

'_What am I going to tell him? __**How **__am I going to tell him?' _he sighed deeply and open the door slowly, not expecting an immediate confrontation but silence and time to himself to think about how to tell Dean.

"Where you been Sammy?" Sam looked up and saw Dean sitting up in the bed and eating.

"Oh come on, you look like you just saw…" Dean's eyes flashed all over black, "a demon."


	6. Chapter 6

**Castiel-Cas**

When Sam left him outside, Castiel went back to where the wife's body had been laying.

He crouched down to get a better looked at the blood-stained grass, though what he was looking at was a small portion for this is where the heart had been thrown.

Castiel stood up and surveyed the scene as a whole, and images and voices came rushing at him, it was as if he could see exactly how it happened, like it happened before his eyes.

"You could've done better yourself." The angel Castiel turned around to see himself sitting on a rock and smiling. "Come on don't act like you're not enjoying this."

"I don't enjoy slaughter." The angel replied.

"Sure you do." Cas said getting up off the rock, "You just won't- _can't _admit it." He poked the angel in the chest. "But you don't have to! That's why I'm here!" he said spreading his arms before him.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and said, "Who are you?" when Cas stooped over to pick up pebbles.

"Why I'm you silly! I swear you would think angels were made without brains."Cas laughed as he threw a pebble at Castiel's head.

Castiel blinked when the rock him, but didn't move.

"Oh come on don't be such a stoic. Live a little." He walked up to where Castiel

Cas bent and touched the blood on the ground, "Mmmm…still warm."

Castiel reached down and grabbed him by throat, "_WHO _are you?"

"Like I said before," a smile began to form on his lips, "I'm…you. I'm the embodiment of all your anger, all your frustration, all your jealousy," Cas paused and out his finger to Castiel's lips, "all your lust."

Castiel slapped his hand away, and let him go.

"See I know exactly how you feel, and no my angelic being," Cas waved his finger in front of his face,

"_that_ isn't a figure of speech."

He began to circle Castiel, "I know how you really think and I know what you really think of. I know how you think Dean is yours, because you brought him from the depths of hell. I know how you hate," he stopped, "Oops sorry, gotta use past tense, _hated _that bitch he'd fallen in love with. I know how you would scour the states looking for cases for him and Sam to solve, just so Dean couldn't see her."

Castiel listened and said nothing.

" You know you really shouldn't keep all that anger pinned up like that," a leaf had fallen onto Castiel's sleeve and Cas brushed it off when he whispered, "it's not good for us."

Castiel looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "I don't believe you."

Cas shrugged, "Well, I'm tired of trying to convince you, I guess we better do it the way the Winchester's do." He pulled a gun out from his jacket and pointed it at Castiel, Castiel rushed forward and Cas shot at the ground, causing a circle of fire to erupt around Castiel. He looked down then his eyes turned to narrow slits as he demanded to be let out.

"You think I'm stupid, if I let you out you'll kill me, but I've got a better idea. Be right back." He winked at Castiel and left.

**Hospital**

Cas came into Dean's room and saw Sam asleep with his head on one of the rails of Dean's bed.

He stood there just taking in Sam's features wishing he could once more feels those lips upon his own.

He walked up to Sam and shook him gently, Sam jumped up and yelled, "He's possessed!" and pointed to his brother. Then looking at where he was and who was standing in the room with he calmed down, "Where's the demon?" he asked as he began walking around Dean's bed looking for traces of sulfur.

"I think you were dreaming." Cas said.

"No that was too real, I was not dreaming. I don't even remember falling asleep." Sam was on the floor checking under the bed, and Cas stood back and looked at his butt. "What did you come here for?" he said running his hand under the bed.

"I've got him, the demon that did this to your brother." Sam quickly got to his feet and stood in front of Cas with his back to the bed.

"You what?...How?"

"I kinda just knew where he'd be." Cas looked at Dean laying in the bed and then he open his all black eyes and winked at Cas. Cas smiled back. Sam saw this and turned around to see what he was smiling at but seeing nothing but his brother's resting body he turned back around to Cas.

'_Since when did he start smiling?' _the thought occurred to Sam.

Cas snapped his fingers in front of Sam's face, "Well do you want to get him or not?"

"Yea lead the way." And he walked behind Cas, followed him into the hall, but stopped and watched Cas walked down the hall by himself before he went back in Dean's room and locked the door.

He stood in front of Dean's bed and held up his right hand, "I was not dreaming." He said when his head began throbbing, and when Dean began to cough and black smoke poured out his mouth and disappeared into the floor.

"Too smart for your own damn good Sam." Sam turned around and Cas hit him across the head and watched as he hit the floor. He picked up Sam's body, looking him up and down. He kissed him passionately before disappearing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Cas sat in the chair in front of Sam and watched him wake up, loving the way his expression went from confusion, to realization, to I'm gonna fucking kill him when he laid eyes on Cas. He had Sam chained to the wall and loved the way his muscles moved beneath his shirt while he struggled in the chains.

"You're not Castiel." Sam said looking at the whip in Cas' hand.

"You're right, I'm Cas." He said getting up out of the chair, then kicking it away and continued on,

"And don't even think for a second that I'm gonna let you out, so don't even waste your breath."

Sam looked at his arms and legs bound to the wall then asked, "Why chains? And where are we?"

"Where are we? We are currently staying at none of your concern, and the chains…" he shrugged and smirked, he lashed the whip out at Sam and it ripped his shirt off, "well they're just part of my fantasy."

Sam shivered at the sudden exposure to the cool air of where ever they were and was oddly aroused at the thought of being whipped.

'_Not the time for that Sam!' _he thought to himself hanging his head to hide a small grin.

"Scared?" Cas said as Sam's head continued to hang there, "hmm, guess not."

Cas walked closer to Sam till he was face to face with him, he used the handle of the whip to bring Sam's head up, "I promise you it won't hurt too bad…" he looked at his watch, " or for too long, I've gotta go get that angelic friend of yours. But I can promise you, something like this—" he leaned in and kissed Sam.

At first Sam resisted twisting his head from left to right, but Cas pulled his hair and Sam let himself sink into the moment, Cas' tongue forced its way into Sam mouth and Sam welcomed it with his own. He began letting out a low moaning sound as he sank deeper and deeper, remembering how it was the first time he and Cas had been together.

Then Cas just stopped he pushed himself off of Sam, "There'll be time for that when I'm done."

Sam licked his lips, licking off the lingering taste Cas had left, "Here drink this." Cas pulled a silver flask from his pocket and put it up to Sam's mouth. Sam clenched his teeth together and said, "No."

"Oh come on, don't be like that..." Sam glared at him and repeated his answer. "Fine then, it was gonna make it easier for you." Cas capped up the flask and placed it back in his pocket.

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you," Cas unraveled the whip, and slapped it on the ground, "of course I'm gonna enjoy it more."

Sam watched as Cas raised his arm up in a swift motion and brought it back down the same way, he screamed as the pain seared across his chest, he looked at the blood come out slow at first then quickly running down his abdomen. He looked up to see a smiling Cas getting in postion to bring the whip down again.

This time it came down on his stomach and Cas whipped it backwards and it hit his side. Sam screamed, but tried to hush himself by biting his lip, Cas brought the whip down once more and Sam bit into his lip until it bleed, then let loose another scream in agony then a plea to Cas to stop.

"Remember what you told me Sammy baby?... Here let me refresh your memory…" Cas raised the whip and said, "No." He brought the whip down on Sam and this time he left only seconds in between strikes while he listened to Sam scream.

**An hour later**

Cas had not tired of swinging his arm back and forth or listening to Sam scream and beg to let go and he only stopped now because Sam stopped. He was no longer crying, or screaming, or looking at Cas with redden eyes full pain as he begged to be let go, he just hung there.

Cas dropped the whip, walked closer to Sam and lifted up his head; Sam's eyes looked directly back at him with anger than Cas had never seen before, it scared but intrigued him.

"How ya feeling?" Cas asked him reaching in his pocket for the key to the chains,

Sam spit blood in his face, "Still feisty I see."

Sam dropped his head again, "I told you it wouldn't be long, I just had to get my point across."

"And what point was that?" Sam asked in a barely perceptible hoarse voice.

"Love isn't discriminatory, when love hurts one, love hurts all."

Cas unlocked the chains and Sam fell onto his shoulders, "Great, now there's gonna be blood on my clothes."

He walked over to a far corner with a few lit candles, and a dirty mattress with a few pillows on the floor. He laid Sam carefully on the mattress making sure he was propped up against the pillow.

Once he was lain down, Cas stroked his hair and tears began to swell up in his eyes, he wiped them away, "Are you hungry?"

Sam only slightly lifted and turned his head to respond with a whispered yes.

" Ok, I'll be right back." Cas disappeared and returned within minutes with burgers, fries, a salad and strawberries pre dipped in chocolate. "I didn't know what to get." He smiled nervously at the sleeping Sam as he set the food down, removed his two jackets and rolled up his sleeves.

Cas pulled a napkin out of the burger bag, let it get wet against his tongue and dabbed it at the blood around Sam's lips and chin, when that got bloody he went an picked up Sam's shirt he's ripped out and pulled a bottle of water out of one of the other bags. He poured the water on the shirt and began to wipe the blood off Sam's still bleeding chest wounds.

Sam grunted and shifted his body a little, Cas touched him lightly as he let the tears he'd never had run off his face and on to Sam.

He stopped to wring the blood out of the shirt while the tears continued to fall, he didn't see Sam staring at him like he'd gone crazy, or hear Sam when he asked why the change of heart. Sam sighed and weakly reached out and wiped the tears from Cas' face.

Cas put his hand on top of Sam's and brought it down with his own.

"How bout that food now?" Sam asked forcing a smile even though his lips hurt.

Cas sniffed and shook his head, reached into the bag and brought out he strawberries, Sam laughed a little as he did.

Cas put one end of a strawberry in his mouth and leaned over Sam; Sam bit the other end and swallowed, then Cas came down again and Sam bit the rest of the strawberry and ate it as well. Cas sat back up to get another but Sam grabbed his tie and pulled him back down. They sat there for a minute, each staring into the others eyes then Sam lifted his head slightly and kissed Cas. He tasted the salt from his tears on his lips mixed with the remnants of the sweet strawberry.

Cas pulled back and said, "We can't do this, you're hurt, _I _hurt you."

"Doesn't matter,when I'm kissing you, nothing matters." Sam said pulling him back down into a tender kiss, not minding the aching in his lips.

Cas stood up began to unbutton his shirt and kick off his shoes, he took his belt off and unbuttoned his pants threw them to the side.

He took off Sam's pants as well and tossed them away, he got back down on the floor then positioned himself on top of Sam careful not to put any weight on his chest, he put himself inside of Sam and watched his face for any sign of pain as he made love to a man he, only an hour ago, had strung up and beaten like and animal.

The few candles that lined the room swayed and flickered, as Sam moaned and begged Cas to go deeper, they flickered constantly as Cas began to move faster inside of Sam, only when they both let out silent screams of ecstasy, did the candles flicker and die clouding the now moonlight room in a smoky cloud.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam woke up first, and gazed down at the sleeping Cas, he smiled and rubbed his hands across his back. Cas stirred and moved closer to him. Sam laid there and stared at the cracks and water damage in the ceiling, he wondered where he was but not for too long. Seconds later Cas jumped up and ran circles around the room trying to find his clothes.

Sam eased himself up trying not to bend any part of his torso, "Where's the fire, Chief?" he said watching Cas stumble and fall on his butt as he hurried to put his legs in his jeans.

Cas looked at him still stuffing his legs in the jeans and said plainly, "I'm about to die."

Sam's face went from amusement to sheer confusion, "What?"

"I've gotta go, I can't be here when they get here." Cas tossed his jacket and coat over his arm and just barely had his feet in his shoes.

"Who is they? And how do they where we are, hell I don't even know where we are!" Sam got up ignoring the cuts that were half healed. Cas walked to the center of the room, tripping over his untied shoes, " Bye Sam I've got to go." Cas closed his eyes and stood there, Sam looked at him too as he waited for Cas to disappear; but the moment never came.

Cas opened his eyes back up, and looked around, "I'm still here?" he questioned then began to panic, "I'm still here! How can this be? I must've - ooooh no, no, no, no, this cannot be happening."

Cas kicked his shoes off threw his coats to the ground and ran to the staircase that Sam had not seen.

Sam followed as best he could up the stairs and once he reached the top he saw that they were standing in the foundation of a house that once was.

He saw Cas standing in what he presumed to be the front yard with one single solitary tree , "Beam me up Daddy!" he shouted up at the sky. Cas closed his eyes and waited, still nothing. Sam did his best hobble run over beside Cas and Cas grabbed his shoulders, eyes wild with hysteria. "This cannot be happening!" he shook Sam then kissed him madly, "What seems to be the problem?" Sam asked wrestling his way out of Cas' grip.

"I'm human, that's the problem! I can't run away from this one."

"Run away from what?" Sam said as he followed Cas across the yard to what could've been a garage, Cas swung the doors open, "It's not _what_ I'm running away from, it's _who." _ He said kicking around old cans and rambling through piles of junk.

"Okay then _who_ are you running from?" Sam asked trying to swat away the spider hanging in front of him.

Cas sifted through the junk some more and pulled out the broken blade of a chainsaw, examined it, stuck his hand through the tight hole near the severed edge of the blade and swung it in Sam's direction.

Sam stepped out of the way, "Your brother."

Sam tilted his head in confusion, "Cas my brother's in the hospital, and Castiel…well come to think of where is he?" he called out to Castiel, but the angel did not show.

"Don't bother, calling him he's not gonna answer to you anymore." Cas said walking back to the front yard and the solitary tree that grew there. He began whacking at it with the broken blade still on his hand, "Why won't he answer?" Sam stood on the other side of the tree, and stared Cas down.

Cas stopped hitting the tree for a second, turned his head toward the dirt road and listened.

He squinted his eyes and in the distance he saw a small cloud of smoke rise.

**Dean-Cas**

Dean had awoken in the hospital alone, and against all attempts to stop him, he left it the same.

He went into the parking lot and hotwired a car and drove until he figured he was far enough.

He got out of the car and looked at where he was, then he recognized it. It was just 5 or so miles from where he'd been attacked by Castiel and where he assumed his wife had died.

He got back in and drove in the middle of the road, not caring for any oncoming traffic that might show up, he slowed up when he figured he was a mile or so away and looked out of the window. He tried to envision what it might have looked like, his wife dying. No one at the hospital would give him details, they just gave apologies. And Dean knew well enough that apologies brought back no one; no matter how much you said it or how much you truly meant it. He continued to slow cruise until he saw Castiel standing in a ring of fire. At first Dean thought about ramming the car into him and letting the dire work it's magic. But Dean wasn't after quick and easy, he wanted to give Castiel the same slow tortured pain he'd given him.

He stopped in the middle of the road and got out of the running up to Castiel, who's first words to him were an apology that might as well have been salt in his wound.

"You're killed my wife you sonofabitch! I trusted you! You were my fucking friend!" Dean punched Castiel with his one good arm and looked at Castiel's unchanging demeanor, and they fired his temper up even more.

Castiel continued to let Dean punch him, not just so he could wear himself out, but also because he couldn't step outside the circle.

Having only one could arm to hit with took more energy out of Dean, than he had expected and he was reduced to angry, frustrated tears.

"Why Cas- why?" he dropped down on the grass in front of the fire.

Castiel looked down on him, he pitied him only for a minute while he thought of a plan.

"I didn't do it Dean. The Cas you saw was not me, I wasn't even at your wedding."

Dean looked up at Castiel trying to search his blue eyes for the truth, "I didn't get an invitation."

"Oh well I just thought you would-" Dean started.

"Save it, that's over now."

"Okay if you didn't do it then who did?"

"Perhaps it would be a story best told on the road." Castiel said looking at the fire surrounding him.

"Who put you in here?" Dean asked pulling off his jacket, careful not to stretch his arm too much because of the cast, and he began to beat out the fire.

Castiel watched him and when he gotten the last flame down, he said, "I'll have to explain it on the way there. Get in the car."

"Where are we going and where's my brother?" Dean asked starting up the car.

"Both are only a few miles up this road."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Cas-Sam**

"Sam, you gotta help me kill your brother." Cas said bluntly to Sam, who then laughed and replied, "You're joking right?" Cas did not smile nor did he join him in laughter.

"Sam I'm serious your brother is coming to kill me and I'm losing whatever power I have left, I'm not going to stand a chance, even with him not using both of his arms." Cas poked Sam's already scarred and still bleeding chest with the blade.

"I can't do that, that's my brother, my family. I'm sorry but you're on your own." Sam turned his back and began to walk back to the stairs.

"We made love! And now you're just gonna leave me high and dry?" Cas screamed at him as he walked away.

Sam turned back and shouted, "We had sex, not love. We caught each other in a weak moment and BAM!"

"So you didn't mean it? What you said about kissing me?" Cas said eyes turning cold.

"Honestly, no. How could I love someone who almost whipped me to death, who tried to kill my brother, who _succeeded _in killing his wife? There was no possible way." Sam said turning his back once again.

Cas ran up behind Sam, turned him around him and punched him the with the hand not in the blade.

"I fell for that bullshit!" he kicked Sam seconds after he's hit the ground. "All this time I thought I was the one being devious." He grabbed Sam by his hair, "You're gonna help me kill your brother whether you want to or not." He ran the blade across Sam's arm slowly, let him scream for a while, then he did it again, digging the blade deeper into the previous cut. Then he dragged Sam by his hair back to the tree hoisted him up beside him and stood behind him and said, "Let's put on a good show."

**In the car**

Castiel tried to explain everything to Dean, but he wasn't hearing it. He only cared about getting revenge on this Cas character. Right then, the only thing that matter was how exactly was he going to act on his revenge, was he just gonna shoot and be done or was he gonna return the torture. Now this Cas guy was human or turning into one the possibilities were endless. He continued to drive deep in thought of various ways to torture, when Castiel grabbed the wheel forcing the car into a sharp turn right into a dirt road that Dean had not seen.

"They're down this road." Castiel stated when he let go of the wheel.

"You could've just said turn, Cas jeez!" Dean said shooting Castiel an angry glance.

"You only have one arm in good condition right now and you wouldn't have made the turn." Castiel said returning the glare.

"Hmph." grunted Dean.

They remained silent as they drove through the thick trees and over grown bushes, they didn't even acknowledge the fact that Dean ran over an armadillo.

"Slow down, He's waiting for us." Castiel said looking out the window through the finally thinning trees.

Dean tried to glance over that way to try and see what Castiel was looking at or for, but saw nothing so he turned his attention back to the road that was finally nearing the shambled of what use to be a house. Dean looked around at the raggedy and rundown garage, then at the remaining foundation of a house, he saw a numerous amount of scattered bushes and one single solitary tree and standing next to it was Cas standing behind Sam.

"Park and get out calmly, nothing good can come of you getting out already enraged. Just wait until I give word." Castiel commanded.

Dean gritted his teeth, '_How am I suppose to get out and act then? Like everything's all fucking peachy keen. To hell with that, I came for revenge."_

When the car stopped Castiel got out first and settled his cold stare onto Sam and Cas.

Dean just sat in the car and watched, "I see you got out. " Cas said arrogantly and moved closer behind Sam.

Castiel said nothing but turned and looked at Dean still sitting the car, Dean looked back with hate in his eyes, sighed then got out.

Castiel continued to stare at him with narrowed eyes, before turning back towards Cas.

Dean slammed the door so hard that it shook the small car and made Cas jump a little, then he walked around the car and stood beside Castiel.

"Well if it isn't my Dean, my darling, my—"

" Cut the bull Cas ok? I already have you on my shit list for killing my wife, don't make me put you on there for being a mouthy little bitch." Dean said words spilling out of him like venom.

Sam looked at his brother and inched forward toward him Cas stuck the blade to his back and he went rigid and just hoped his brother would do something soon.

Castiel saw Sam's small movement and looked to Dean whose eyes had not left Cas, who looked as if he had all of hell pinned up inside of him. Castiel moved closer to Dean and side whispered in his ear,

"He has Sam against his will."

Dean looked at Sam for the first time since he stepped out of the car, he saw his half opened cuts and gashes on his chest and arms, he saw the fear in the way his brother stood and the way he looked at him. Castiel leaned back into Dean again, "It is inevitable, go ahead, do what you have to."

Dean didn't have time to wonder about what the angel meant by inevitable while held his hand out to Castiel who put a gun in it and Dean aimed at Cas.

"You won't shoot me honey," Cas moved Sam in front of him, "you won't shoot me as long as he's here."

Dean looked at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, and the angel understood he stepped forward grabbed Sam and disappeared, leaving Cas exposed clutching to his blade.

Cas charged at Dean blade aimed at his chest, Dean moved and slapped Cas with the barrel of the gun,

Cas came at him again same as before and Dean shot at him but the bullet only grazed his shoulder, Cas swung and cut a hole in Dean's shirt. Dean backed up and fired off two more shots, each one missed as Cas slung the blade at Dean, one swing caught Dean's hand and cut his wrist causing Dean to drop the gun, leaving him defenseless.

Cas smiled and swung harder at Dean as he tried to duck out of the way of the blade that just barely grazed the top of his head. Dean lifted up a leg to kick but Cas dodged and side swiped the inner thigh of Dean's other leg, causing him to drop to the ground and grab his leg in pain as the blood poured out. Not willing to giving in Dean stood on shaky legs and continued to throw one armed punches at Cas' face planting only a few at a time. The hits to the face didn't seem to phase Cas as he continued to sling the blade around wildly, slicing Dean's arm.

Cas was coming on him so strong until Dean had his back against the tree and Cas saw that as an opportunity to slash his head off but Dean ducked down and tackled Cas to the ground and punched him as hard and as fast as his tired arm would hit. Cas couldn't see Dean on account of the blood build up in his eyes along with the sweat so he swung at what he hoped was Dean and then the punches stopped. Cas shook his head a little, shaking some of the blood out of his eyes. When his vision cleared he saw a headless Dean sitting on top of him, he looked to the side of him and saw Dean eyes still filled with hate and now staring at him.

Cas pushed Dean's body off of him and laughed, then he saw Sam and Castiel appear in front of him, Sam looked at Dean's head turned over by his feet, then at Cas who said, "I killed him without you, **Sam**." Then he dropped the blade and began to laugh even harder, wrapping his arms around his stomach, he doubled over with laughter. Sam's chest heaved and he rushed at Cas who within a seconds time picked up the blade and just as Sam was about to him he stabbed him in the stomach, he stood up as Sam coughed out blood on his shirt and looked at him, anger still present in his fading eyes, "I love you." Cas said.

"Go to hell." Sam said and Cas pushed the blade in further and let Sam drop to the ground beside his brother.

Cas wiped the blood from around his mouth and directed his gaze at Castiel, "This is not suppose to happen to them."

"You could've stopped me if you wanted to." Cas kicked Sam's body over and pulled the blade out and licked the blood.

"You killed them." Castiel said with disbelief looking at their bodies.

"I did, didn't I?" Cas smiled and licked the blade again like a sucker, not paying attention to the angel who suddenly appeared behind him and put his hands around Cas' neck.

"Ah, ah, ah, Castiel, _Thou shall not kill." _Cas said grabbing the arm around his neck, Castiel pulled even tighter, then Cas said with choked breaths, "You can't kill me, you're an angel of the Lord."

"You just killed Dean, right?"

"Yes."

"And you're a part of me, correct?"

"Yes."

"Wrong, I don't kill the people I love."

Castiel twisted Cas' head and listened to the sickening sound as it snapped, he let go of Cas' head and he dropped to the ground, he then quickly walked over to Sam and kneeled beside him, "You are not meant to die here." He put his hand on Sam's head and Sam sat up breathing as if he'd been trapped underwater too long. Sam looked around and instantly remembered what happened, then saw Dean's headless body beside him and then Cas'.

Then Castiel spoke, "Time for round two, Sam. Your second chance." He handed Sam a knife, then place his fingers to his forehead and Sam disappeared.8


	10. Chapter 10

***I didn't intend on this chapter actually being the way it was, but I had final exams and had to study… before I move on to something else I might actually rewrite this whole thing, and come up with something completely different. I might…***

Sam opened his eyes, to find himself standing in front of the church still clutching the knife, he saw all the guests walking into the church, and he walked behind them unnoticed, people walked through him as if he were not even there. He watched the entire wedding from start to finish, as if on fast forward and when the time came for Cas to get up and wish Dean and his wife well and walk solemnly out of the church. Sam followed him only to find out that he could not step outside of the church doors, like some invisible barrier blocked his path.

Sam tried to pick up a nearby flower vase and throw it but he found that instead of being able to grip it his hands just went straight through it. Defeated he returned to the sanctuary, only to find it empty and desolate of anything but some ragged pews, balled up programs and missed flower petals.

Sam sat down in the a pew near the front of the church, put the knife down beside him and buried his hands in his hair.

"What am I suppose to do?" he whispered half asking himself, half asking Castiel. "You sent me back with no directions here Cas, just a knife and a try again." He looked up at the statue of Jesus hanging on the cross, "I'm confused here, how is this supposed to help?"

"I thought it would be apparent." Sam turned around to see Castiel walking up the aisle then placing himself beside Sam on the pew. "You're supposed to kill him."

"Yea, I get that part what I don't get is how?" Sam stated putting his full attention on the angel.

"You have to catch him—" he stopped and narrowed his eyes as if he wondering if that was the right choice of word or not then he continued, "You have to catch me, at my weakest moment."

" You?"

"I know that you are most likely wondering how is it that there became more than one of the same vessel and why he devolved into something completely different." Castiel brought his almost pain filled eyes down from the statue of Jesus to meet with Sam's questioning one as he began to explain how he and his emotions had become separated in the first place. He explained that the other angels believed he was becoming too attached to Dean and Sam, and that he perhaps he needed to get rid of his feelings altogether.

"How do you go about doing that?" Sam asked curiously.

"Well it's as simple as breathing, but as painful as this." Castiel stuck his hand in Sam's stomach only up to his thumb then pulled it out, leaving Sam out of breath and slightly red in the face.

"And after they take it out of you, then what?" Sam put a hand to his stomach expecting to feel a hole there.

"They create a duplicate vessel of the one you are currently using and place the emotions inside of it."

"So Cas was just running of emotions and nothing else, your emotions, right?" Sam reached beside him and picked up his knife.

"Yes." Castiel noticed Sam's movement and stood up. "I do believe that you have work to attend to."

"Not yet," Sam stood up as well, "so the thing about you being in love with my brother…was that…"

Castiel turned away his eyes and walked back towards the doors of the church.

Sam followed still questioning the now silent angel, "It was true wasn't it?" he smiled a little before the angel turned around with a pissed look upon his face, "What of it Sam? It won't matter unless you stop this in time, because he'll be dead."

"And if I do stop it then what? You'll get your emotions back and go back to being depressed, murderous Castiel? If I fixed this and Dean comes back to life, he and his wife will still be about me? Do you feel the same about me?"

The angel gave him look, then told him plainly, "Just get the job done."

Castiel put his fingers to Sam's head and Sam found that he was standing in front of the hotel room that Cas come to him in, he could hear himself inside talking to Cas but couldn't make out the words.

He waited outside for some time, then the light just outside his door began to flicker and he smiled knowing full well what was taking place behind the door. Still remembering his task, he pulled out the knife and stood ready at the door for the moment when the all the lights outside would explode before he barged in on himself and Cas.

'One shot, thing here Sam' he said to himself then the lights blew and he quickly picked the lock on the door and walked softly toward the broken down bed where he and Cas lie.

He held the knife over Cas, and brought it down swiftly and the duplicate angel looked at him with a smile on his face as one single solitary tear tread down he cheek. Cas ruptured in a blinding white light and Sam saw himself get up in alarm just as the light faded away, then he turned to himself and said, "It had to be done."

Then Sam disappeared and then reappeared back at the yard where Dean and Cas' fought to find that Castiel duplicated body wasn't there, but his brother's was.

Sam threw down the knife and rushed to his brother's headless body,

"I thought you said this would work, I thought my brother was going to be alive Cas!" he screamed at the empty yard.

"I never said it would work, I just hoped it would. I'm sorry Sam." Castiel said placing Dean's head beside the body.

Sam tears swell up in his eyes as he dropped the body and threw wild punches at Castiel, "It shoud've worked you bastard, I blame you for this you stupid son of a bitch! If it weren't for you my brother would be here, he would be alive!"

Castiel blocked the punches best he could as he waited for Sam to exhaust himself, finally Sam threw one last swing and ended up with his arms around Castiel, sobbing madly into his shoulders.

"If you just let me help you, then everything will be all right." The angel said stroking Sam's hair as he continued to cry into his shoulders, "Just let me help you Sam."

He gently pulled Sam back off his shoulder and wiped away the steady coming tears, "Cas, I just can't do it, I can't do this any longer, I won't be able to live without my brother."

"Let me help you, tell me what I need to do?" looking intensely into Sam's tear laden eyes.

Sam put his hand to Castiel's face, "There's nothing left for anyone to do now." Sam backed away slowly from Cas and picked up the gun on the ground that Dean had dropped, he placed it under his chin.

Castiel put his hand on the hand that was holding the gun, but Sam slapped it away

"Tell me how can I ease the pain?" Sam said moving the gun from his chin to the side of his head.

"Like this." Said Castiel as he turned the gun in Sam's hand to ash that fell up on the ground, then grabbing that same hand, he put his other one on Sam's face and kissed Sam until his tears dried, he kissed Sam until the sadness in his eyes disappeared, he kissed Sam until he could no longer feel the pain coming from his heart.

**S/N: I got kinda bored writing this story… I had actually planned for it to be longer but ADD prevents me from having no such luck…oh well…. Maybe I'll try again some other time.**

**P.S. thank you for actually reading this story **


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